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THE CLASS REUNION
Every ten years, as summertime nears
An announcement arrives in the mail.
“A reunion is planned; it’ll be really grand
Make plans to attend without fail.”
I’ll never forget the first time we met
We tried so hard to impress.
We drove fancy cars, smoked big cigars
And wore our most elegant dress.
It was quite an affair; the whole class was there.
It was held at a fancy hotel.
We wined, and we dined, and we acted refined
And everyone thought it was swell.
The men all conversed about who had been first
To achieve great fortune and fame.
Meanwhile, their spouses described their fine houses
And how beautiful their children became.
The homecoming queen, who once had been lean
Now weighed in at one-ninety-six.
The jocks who were there had all lost their hair
And the cheer-leaders could no longer do kicks.
No one had heard about the class nerd
Who’d guided a spacecraft to the moon.
Or poor little Jane, who’s always plain
She married a shipping tycoon.
The boy we’d decreed “most apt to succeed”
Was serving ten years in the pen.
While the one voted “least” now was a priest
Just shows you can be wrong now and then.
They awarded a prize to one of the guys
Who seemed to have aged the least.
Another was given to the grad who had driven
The farthest to attend the feast.
They took a class picture, a curious mixture
Of beehives, crew cuts and wide ties.
Tall, short, or shiny, the style was the mini
You never saw so many thighs.
At our next get-together, no one cared whether
They impressed their classmates or not.
The mood was informal, a whole lot more normal
By this time we’d all gone to pot.
It was held out-of-doors, at the lake shores
We ate hamburgers, coleslaw, and beans.
Then most of us lay around in the shade
In our comfortable T-shirts and jeans.
By the fortieth year, it was abundantly clear,
We were definitely over the hill.
Those with a clear head had to crawl out of bed,
And be home in time for their pill.
And now I can’t wait; they’ve set the date
Out fiftieth is coming, I’m told.
It should be a ball, they’ve rented a hall
At the Shady Rest Home for the old.
Repairs have been made on my hearing aid
My pacemakers been turned up on high.
My wheelchair is oiled, and my teeth have been boiled
And I’ve bought a new wig and glass eye.
I’m feeling quite hearty, and I’m ready to party
I’m gonna dance ‘till dawn’s early light.
It’ll be lots of fun; I just hope that there’s one
Other person who can make it that night.
The End (Author Unknown) |